Duuuuuude! the lady on the other side of the cube from me just said to her 15 yr old daughter "did your little friend come?" and then she repeated it and mentioned cramps. FML. and FHDL (fck her daughters life).
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
TM FCKin I
Duuuuuude! the lady on the other side of the cube from me just said to her 15 yr old daughter "did your little friend come?" and then she repeated it and mentioned cramps. FML. and FHDL (fck her daughters life).
Monday, August 17, 2009
oh yeah
I also started a somewhat extreme diet on Sunday. In my quest to up my standards, I need to get super serious about my weight. I'm so close to achieving my goal..at least compared to where I've been..I need to really push to get there! I'm fed up with myself..which actually makes no sense. I'm controlling me!? or am I?? dun dun DUNNNN.
So my new diet consists of drinking lots of fruit juice, and smoothies, as well as eating raw vegetables, fruit, salad and soups. So far its only been one day, and I'm still standing. I went shopping yesterday and picked up a bunch of different things I can eat for the week. I do not think I can sustain this for too long, nor do I want to! So my goal is to do it till friday or saturday at the latest.
I dropped my bike off at the bike shop yesterday because it was making some clicking noises when I pedal. Hopefully they'll have it back to me by wednesday so I can get some exercise in, as well.
Buckle down, kiddd!
No-win situations
You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't! I find myself on both sides of social situations like this all the time, and am pretty bad at navigating their tricky waters.
From one side, its hard to accept things when you think you know what's "really" going on behind people's decisions. You feel like you're being lied to, even if the other person is doing so to "protect you." From the other side, you feel like there's no way to express the truth, without offending the other person, so you take the path of either making up an excuse, or emphasising something safe that's actually true, but not really THE reason. All of these social games we play with each other seem so pointless on paper, but it's possible that many relationships would fall to pieces without them.
Depending on the person, and the situation, I try to be as real as possible. I feel people will respect your decisions more, if they know the real information behind them, even if it's unpleasant to hear. But for me, mostly I just don't like lying, and would rather people think of me as an asshole, than someone that is afraid to be real, or makes excuses.
Also, most people will believe what they THINK is going on, even if a totally plausible and realistic excuse is given..so what's the point anyway? It sucks even worse when you give the real reason, and people STILL BELIEVE their version of the truth!
All in all, I think we should all move back into caves, and shun each other totally. Its too much work to keep all of this bullshit running! lol.
From one side, its hard to accept things when you think you know what's "really" going on behind people's decisions. You feel like you're being lied to, even if the other person is doing so to "protect you." From the other side, you feel like there's no way to express the truth, without offending the other person, so you take the path of either making up an excuse, or emphasising something safe that's actually true, but not really THE reason. All of these social games we play with each other seem so pointless on paper, but it's possible that many relationships would fall to pieces without them.
Depending on the person, and the situation, I try to be as real as possible. I feel people will respect your decisions more, if they know the real information behind them, even if it's unpleasant to hear. But for me, mostly I just don't like lying, and would rather people think of me as an asshole, than someone that is afraid to be real, or makes excuses.
Also, most people will believe what they THINK is going on, even if a totally plausible and realistic excuse is given..so what's the point anyway? It sucks even worse when you give the real reason, and people STILL BELIEVE their version of the truth!
All in all, I think we should all move back into caves, and shun each other totally. Its too much work to keep all of this bullshit running! lol.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
what a dumb and emo day
My aunt had a mini stroke last night. She's ok but that's some scary shit. No warning signs at all.
***
Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”
“I am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “There is a flower...I think that she has tamed me...”
“It is possible,” said the fox. “On the Earth one sees all sorts of things.”
“My life is very monotonous,” the fox said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . .”
The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. “Please—tame me!” he said.
“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”
“One only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me...”
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day...”
The next day the little prince came back. “It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you..."
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—
“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . .”
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“Then it has done you no good at all!”
“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.” And then he added: “Go and look again at the roses. You will under stand now that yours is unique in all the world."
- the little prince
***
Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”
“I am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “There is a flower...I think that she has tamed me...”
“It is possible,” said the fox. “On the Earth one sees all sorts of things.”
“My life is very monotonous,” the fox said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . .”
The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. “Please—tame me!” he said.
“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”
“One only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me...”
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day...”
The next day the little prince came back. “It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you..."
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—
“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . .”
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“Then it has done you no good at all!”
“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.” And then he added: “Go and look again at the roses. You will under stand now that yours is unique in all the world."
- the little prince
People are retarded
I saw something pretty disturbing yesterday. While riding my bike down near Exchange Pl, I stopped to take a break on one of the piers. Instead of sitting on a bench, I just stood near the railing and peered out into the river with manhattan standing tall on the other side. A few moments later a bunch of Canadian Geese come floating by and eventually take off from the water. One of the Geese can't seem to get airborn and is struggling mightily. At first I thought maybe a large fish had attacked the bird and was trying to drag him down under the water but as it turns out, it was man fcking with nature once again.
Some dueshbag had been fishing off the pier and the goose accidently got either tangled in the line, or somehow hooked by it's evilness. Now it's definitely not the guy's fault, but it just made me so mad what he did next. As the fisherman realizes what has happened he starts to REEL THE FUCKING GOOSE IN. As he comes closer to me, and closer to where the Bird is on my side of the pier he keeps reeling and reeling and pulling and pulling as if he just caught a tuna. I say to the guy "Are you trying to bring the goose up on the pier?? I think you're going to have to cut your line. Those things are really heavy." He ignored me and kept reeling and reeling. I say it again, and he says "yeah but I'll lose my weight and hook if I cut the line."
After a while he realizes its retarded, but he doesn't cut the line. I really wanted to call the fucking cops because I think its illegal to harm Canadian Geese (which is why they are so annoying and think they can go whereever they please.). Finally after I said it again that he's going to have to cut his line, and I mention that it's illegal to hurt these Geese, he cuts his line and storms off. One of his two bratty kids say "Hope you're happy now, Ducky."
People are retarded. Seriously, man! You really think your weight and hook is more important than hurting another living thing?? But I guess when you think about it, he was there to catch fish so I shouldn't be surprised at his attitude.
***
In other news, I am really loosing my Patience for people and their flawed personalities. Mannn everything is getting on my nerves today. I'm in a pretty shitty mood! X__x
Some dueshbag had been fishing off the pier and the goose accidently got either tangled in the line, or somehow hooked by it's evilness. Now it's definitely not the guy's fault, but it just made me so mad what he did next. As the fisherman realizes what has happened he starts to REEL THE FUCKING GOOSE IN. As he comes closer to me, and closer to where the Bird is on my side of the pier he keeps reeling and reeling and pulling and pulling as if he just caught a tuna. I say to the guy "Are you trying to bring the goose up on the pier?? I think you're going to have to cut your line. Those things are really heavy." He ignored me and kept reeling and reeling. I say it again, and he says "yeah but I'll lose my weight and hook if I cut the line."
After a while he realizes its retarded, but he doesn't cut the line. I really wanted to call the fucking cops because I think its illegal to harm Canadian Geese (which is why they are so annoying and think they can go whereever they please.). Finally after I said it again that he's going to have to cut his line, and I mention that it's illegal to hurt these Geese, he cuts his line and storms off. One of his two bratty kids say "Hope you're happy now, Ducky."
People are retarded. Seriously, man! You really think your weight and hook is more important than hurting another living thing?? But I guess when you think about it, he was there to catch fish so I shouldn't be surprised at his attitude.
***
In other news, I am really loosing my Patience for people and their flawed personalities. Mannn everything is getting on my nerves today. I'm in a pretty shitty mood! X__x
Monday, August 10, 2009
Progress
Had a fairly uneventful few days, but also productive! I biked everyday over the weekend, and was good at controlling my diet (except last night..I ate like crazy after Barnes and Nobles). Saw some results from the last week or so and actually lost about 4lbs! It's hard to judge because my stupid weight flucuates so much day to day. Seriously on saturday morn I was 238, and today the scale said 241. But last week I was consistantly like 244, so who knows! lol.
The good news is I didnt really kill myself the last week or so, so If I can just continue with my "program," the end of august should be realistic to hit my goal. Still have to come up with a reward if I make 20lbs..hmm.
***
On Saturday I went to The Lamp Post in jersey city to see my friend's band. What a fiasco! The place is, first of all, a dump. The crowd is mostly dirty hipsters and for whatever reason, on this particular night, it was dirty hillbilly hipsters! So the band that followed Snowball37 apparently got their panties in a bunch because they wanted to play 2nd, instead of 3rd. A few songs into the set, they start booing, and heckling my friend's band. It was pretty awesome to see how Dave, sb37's singer reacted to them. Among other things he said "your mother sucks! and F*ck you" to the inbred assholes. I really did think a fight was going to break out, and I was actually prepared.
I don't know the band's name, but these guys were among the biggest dueshbags i've ever encountered. So finally Snowball finishes their set, and of course the hecklers don't have shit to say once the music stops. All of a sudden they were nice guys! Talk about no talent, no class, and no shame! Once you hear how boring and lame their music was, you wonder where they get the balls to boo anyone. They were probably one of the worst bands I've ever heard.
The good news is I didnt really kill myself the last week or so, so If I can just continue with my "program," the end of august should be realistic to hit my goal. Still have to come up with a reward if I make 20lbs..hmm.
***
On Saturday I went to The Lamp Post in jersey city to see my friend's band. What a fiasco! The place is, first of all, a dump. The crowd is mostly dirty hipsters and for whatever reason, on this particular night, it was dirty hillbilly hipsters! So the band that followed Snowball37 apparently got their panties in a bunch because they wanted to play 2nd, instead of 3rd. A few songs into the set, they start booing, and heckling my friend's band. It was pretty awesome to see how Dave, sb37's singer reacted to them. Among other things he said "your mother sucks! and F*ck you" to the inbred assholes. I really did think a fight was going to break out, and I was actually prepared.
I don't know the band's name, but these guys were among the biggest dueshbags i've ever encountered. So finally Snowball finishes their set, and of course the hecklers don't have shit to say once the music stops. All of a sudden they were nice guys! Talk about no talent, no class, and no shame! Once you hear how boring and lame their music was, you wonder where they get the balls to boo anyone. They were probably one of the worst bands I've ever heard.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Rooting for you to fail
I'm not the most mature person in the world, this I'll readily admit. But Does it cross the line into vindictive and mean when you actually root for other people to fail? I think I know the answer..haha. The more mature approach would be to simply not give a damn, or to ignore whatever's going on.. It's just not always easy.
Also, I feel bad about wishing other people misfortune, in order to benefit me. I would NEVER play the saboteur role, but hoping..is harder to control! This might be little more understandable, but I still feel dumb for doing it. An example would be hoping a friend doesn't apply for the same job I am applying for, etc. I should be mature enough to say "may the best man win." but I'm not.
I definitely talk shit about people, but its only when it's deserved, and ridiculous. And i will tell them (in a nice way?) to their face, if it comes up! I'm usually the first person to give you the benefit of the doubt, and keep an open mind. But once you cross over and no longer get the benefit of the doubt, it's onnnnn.
So I hope one day to stop giving into my own petty desire to see people get theirs..and really just be able to cut people off from effecting my world.
Also, I feel bad about wishing other people misfortune, in order to benefit me. I would NEVER play the saboteur role, but hoping..is harder to control! This might be little more understandable, but I still feel dumb for doing it. An example would be hoping a friend doesn't apply for the same job I am applying for, etc. I should be mature enough to say "may the best man win." but I'm not.
I definitely talk shit about people, but its only when it's deserved, and ridiculous. And i will tell them (in a nice way?) to their face, if it comes up! I'm usually the first person to give you the benefit of the doubt, and keep an open mind. But once you cross over and no longer get the benefit of the doubt, it's onnnnn.
So I hope one day to stop giving into my own petty desire to see people get theirs..and really just be able to cut people off from effecting my world.
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