Rooting for you to fail

I'm not the most mature person in the world, this I'll readily admit. But Does it cross the line into vindictive and mean when you actually root for other people to fail? I think I know the answer..haha. The more mature approach would be to simply not give a damn, or to ignore whatever's going on.. It's just not always easy.

Also, I feel bad about wishing other people misfortune, in order to benefit me. I would NEVER play the saboteur role, but hoping..is harder to control! This might be little more understandable, but I still feel dumb for doing it. An example would be hoping a friend doesn't apply for the same job I am applying for, etc. I should be mature enough to say "may the best man win." but I'm not.

I definitely talk shit about people, but its only when it's deserved, and ridiculous. And i will tell them (in a nice way?) to their face, if it comes up! I'm usually the first person to give you the benefit of the doubt, and keep an open mind. But once you cross over and no longer get the benefit of the doubt, it's onnnnn.

So I hope one day to stop giving into my own petty desire to see people get theirs..and really just be able to cut people off from effecting my world.